I'll make this short: Don't see this movie. Actually, I could be a little bit longer ... Don't see this movie unless you like seeing people have affairs and complain about life. I spent at least 75% of the movie SMH. Kate Hudson is a massive brat, Ginnifer Goodwin continues to be pathetic in every role ever (insecure much?) and I was truly rooting against everyone. Except Jim from the Office ... my wife says I remind her of him, so he must have been brilliant. :)
Grade: F!!!!!!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Movie Review: Crazy, Stupid, Love
It seems like movies about "complicated" relationships are either happy stories where everyone ends up with all the right people at the end and all problems are solved OR they're incredibly sad stories where people who seem like they should be together just keep missing each other and everyone ends up unhappy in the end. This movie is an almost perfect compromise of these two extremes.
Here's the plot: Steve Carell is an office drone and Julianne Moore is his bored wife. It's clear from the first scene that romance is not a priority for these two and Moore blurts out over dessert that she slept with a co-worker (Kevin Bacon - AWESOME) and wants a divorce. Carell's response fits his character - he rolls out of a moving car. This is part of what makes the movie work - the characters act like actual humans! (not that normal people jump out of moving cars, but I think we've all been in scenarios where that seems like the best option!) Anyway, Carell heads to the local nightclub where he meets Ryan Gosling and the male version of "She's All That" starts. Gosling teaches Carell how to dress, walk, talk, drink, meet women, etc. He usually leads by example, which means that he's a huge ladies man, UNTIL he has a girl turn down his offer of companionship (Emma Stone) ... and of course he can't get her out of his mind. The second half of the movie focuses on each character deciding what they really want and going after it. Will Carell fight for his wife? Will Gosling find Stone and sweep her off her feet? Will Julianne Moore take Carell back or add some Bacon to her life? Will Marisa Tomei be hilarious in a small role as a divorcee? (Spoiler alert - YES)
Like I mentioned above, this movie straddles the line between corny and hopeless, and it's carried by strong performances by Carell and Gosling. Carell's brilliance is his ability to make tragic scenes funny without losing the emotion. He's like a loveable Jim Carrey. And Gosling is in his element as a smarmy ladies man - it makes you wonder how much "acting" he was doing ... :) For her part, Stone is very charming in the role as Gosling's romantic ideal. And Julianne Moore is great at being conflicted, indecisive, and needy without being pathetic. Both Moore and Carell project real emotion toward each other and you believe in their marriage, even if it might not stand the test of time.
Here's the plot: Steve Carell is an office drone and Julianne Moore is his bored wife. It's clear from the first scene that romance is not a priority for these two and Moore blurts out over dessert that she slept with a co-worker (Kevin Bacon - AWESOME) and wants a divorce. Carell's response fits his character - he rolls out of a moving car. This is part of what makes the movie work - the characters act like actual humans! (not that normal people jump out of moving cars, but I think we've all been in scenarios where that seems like the best option!) Anyway, Carell heads to the local nightclub where he meets Ryan Gosling and the male version of "She's All That" starts. Gosling teaches Carell how to dress, walk, talk, drink, meet women, etc. He usually leads by example, which means that he's a huge ladies man, UNTIL he has a girl turn down his offer of companionship (Emma Stone) ... and of course he can't get her out of his mind. The second half of the movie focuses on each character deciding what they really want and going after it. Will Carell fight for his wife? Will Gosling find Stone and sweep her off her feet? Will Julianne Moore take Carell back or add some Bacon to her life? Will Marisa Tomei be hilarious in a small role as a divorcee? (Spoiler alert - YES)
Like I mentioned above, this movie straddles the line between corny and hopeless, and it's carried by strong performances by Carell and Gosling. Carell's brilliance is his ability to make tragic scenes funny without losing the emotion. He's like a loveable Jim Carrey. And Gosling is in his element as a smarmy ladies man - it makes you wonder how much "acting" he was doing ... :) For her part, Stone is very charming in the role as Gosling's romantic ideal. And Julianne Moore is great at being conflicted, indecisive, and needy without being pathetic. Both Moore and Carell project real emotion toward each other and you believe in their marriage, even if it might not stand the test of time.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Travel Review: Austin, TX
Most people who know me know I'm not a fan of Austin - partially for reasons that are out of its control. For instance, it isn't Austin's fault that the Huskers couldn't beat the Longhorns if UT started a 7th grader at each position. And Austin didn't ask to be located on I-35, which isn't the Bolivian Road Of Death, but it's close - and has maddening traffic that can spring up out of nowhere and easily turn a nice 3.5 hour drive into a 5+ hour death march. But getting there is only half the battle. I've always rooted for the underdog, and Austin is anything but an underdog. It's more like the Miami Heat (go Mavs!). Everyone, everywhere, loves Austin. And most descriptions I've heard of Austin start with "Well, it's nothing like Dallas ..." As someone who lives in and enjoys Dallas (yes, I understand that we have loads of Affliction shirt, bedazzled pocket jeans wearers and $30K millionaires) a part of me just wants to let everyone know that Austin isn't exactly immune to pretentiosity (pretty sure that's not a word ...), and despite what you've heard, isn't Shangri-la, the Fountain of Youth and the Garden of Eden all rolled up into one big happy free love, cheap dope Utopia. Most people love to eat at chain restaurants, only shop at Whole Foods if it's close to their house, think Pabst Blue Ribbon tastes like crap, and pay way too much for their house. Part of that isn't really Austin's fault either, though. It's become such an attractive city that businesses flooded in and the resulting executives want comfortable lives. The median income level in Austin is $43,000 - more than 25% higher than the national average! With wealth comes a desire for comfort, and Bohemian living doesn't feel very comfortable when you have Starbucks and Chili's a block away. In essence, I think people fall in love with an idea of "Austin" that doesn't exist.
HOWEVER ... I went to Austin last weekend for a wedding (congrats, Scott and Jacie!!) and while I was there I thought back over my past three or four trips to Austin, and each one was a super fun trip. The trailer food parks, the neon signs on South Congress, the wacky bars of Sixth Street, the trees and beautiful Hill Country landscape, hundreds of mom/pop restaurants/coffee shops/clothing shops, the general fitness vibe ... it all adds up to a really fun place to be! I still can't imagine living there, but I've truly never had a bad - or even a mediocre - time when in Austin. It's been a fun trip each and every time.
The rehearsal dinner was held at Abel's on the Lake and was an awesome setting. It was pretty hot, but the sunset over the water and the coolish breeze helped. The morning of the wedding, several guys played golf at Butler Pitch and Putt (near Peter Pan mini golf) and had a great time. The course isn't recommended because of the smooth greens and lush fairways (each tee box was a square of astroturf), but we all still had a great time. One thing that I appreciate about Austin is that it doesn't always take things seriously. Every time I've gone to a golf course my goal is to shoot the absolute lowest score I could. We had a friendly wager on this game, but in reality it was a great time being outside and scores weren't that important. The wedding was at a place called Mercury Hall, and it was a little building with a nicely shaded outdoor area for the wedding. Even though it was blazing hot outside the heat and breeze made the evening very bearable and the reception was beautifully decorated. You can probably guess that the DJ was awesome! He actually had turntables and everything so he truly mixed the songs and played some great stuff. The dance floor was generally packed (don't worry - I didn't dance very much) and everyone enjoyed themselves.
So after another fun weekend trip I think it's time for me and Austin to kiss and make up (smoke the peace pipe? how do these things work in Austin?). I'll admit that from a tourist's perspective it's a fun city with a very active (running/biking) vibe and tons of personality if Austin will admit that some of the personality is contrived and it isn't the center of the universe. That seems fair, no?
Monday, June 6, 2011
DVD Review: The Dilemma (starring Kevin James and Vince Vaughn)
What would you do if you found out that your best friend's wife was having an affair? That's Vince Vaughn's "dilemma" in this movie (I'm going to refer to him as Vince, b/c his character's name is Ronny, and let's be honest - it doesn't fit at all). I'm a huge fan of Vince. I celebrate his entire catalog, from Swingers (my favorite) to Clay Pigeons (weird) to Couple's Retreat (paycheck). And for me, he's the reason to see this movie. Vince and Kevin James are partners in a car engine making business (or something - you can ignore that entire plot line b/c it's nonsense. Kevin James as a genius engineer? No thanks. Queen Latifah as a consultant with creepy sexual metaphors? More realistic, but triple no thanks.), and they're best friends. (One non-surprise: Kevin James likes to dance and isn't very good at it! We've never seen that before, have we?) James is happily married (it seems) to Winona Ryder and Vaughn is with long-time girlfriend Jennifer Connelly.
Very early in the movie Vaughn learns that James' wife is cheating on him (with admittedly hilarious Channing Tatum) and confronts her. Through a series of blackmails, amateur spy operations, and other slapstick we learn that each person in the threesome has a skeleton or two that they don't want brought out of the closet. This is where the movie takes a strange turn - it stops being a buddy comedy and becomes a much darker relationship/morality play. Vaughn struggles with whether to tell James about his wife's wandering eye, while also trying to understand James' own philanders (he like happy ending at local massage parlor). It's easy to sympathize with him as he tries to process the fact that his "heroes" are both living relationship lies. And I give the movie credit for not romanticizing or glorifying the affair or the massage parlor. As the stress builds, Vaughn dives into his rambling, funny man schtick with a long, uncomfortable toast at his girlfriend's parent's 40th anniversary party. Finally, everything comes to a head when an intervention is planned for Vaughn (all of his weird reactions and creepy stalking made people think he was gambling again). The ending wraps up nicely without being trite (again, ignore the Kevin James as genius engineer part).
I personally find Vaughn's wild ramblings hilarious, so I wanted to like this movie. And I appreciate that they tried to make the actual "dilemma" into a real dilemma without minimizing the impact of an affair. The casting was appropriate as well because I think by now Winona Ryder has reached the petty crimes Tyson Zone (see Bill Simmons wiki for explanation) and she plays it to the hilt here. However, there was so much other nonsense going on in the movie (Vaughn's gambling past, the car engine meetings, Queen Latifah), that it had a hard time getting the engine started. Either it should have been a comedy a la Couple's Retreat, or it should have been a drama and really explored the emotional impact of marital unfaithfulness with occasionally funny lines. The second option is probably beyond this cast's limitations (I'm looking at you, Paul Blart, Mall Cop), although Connelly was very good as Vaughn's patient girlfriend.
Very early in the movie Vaughn learns that James' wife is cheating on him (with admittedly hilarious Channing Tatum) and confronts her. Through a series of blackmails, amateur spy operations, and other slapstick we learn that each person in the threesome has a skeleton or two that they don't want brought out of the closet. This is where the movie takes a strange turn - it stops being a buddy comedy and becomes a much darker relationship/morality play. Vaughn struggles with whether to tell James about his wife's wandering eye, while also trying to understand James' own philanders (he like happy ending at local massage parlor). It's easy to sympathize with him as he tries to process the fact that his "heroes" are both living relationship lies. And I give the movie credit for not romanticizing or glorifying the affair or the massage parlor. As the stress builds, Vaughn dives into his rambling, funny man schtick with a long, uncomfortable toast at his girlfriend's parent's 40th anniversary party. Finally, everything comes to a head when an intervention is planned for Vaughn (all of his weird reactions and creepy stalking made people think he was gambling again). The ending wraps up nicely without being trite (again, ignore the Kevin James as genius engineer part).
I personally find Vaughn's wild ramblings hilarious, so I wanted to like this movie. And I appreciate that they tried to make the actual "dilemma" into a real dilemma without minimizing the impact of an affair. The casting was appropriate as well because I think by now Winona Ryder has reached the petty crimes Tyson Zone (see Bill Simmons wiki for explanation) and she plays it to the hilt here. However, there was so much other nonsense going on in the movie (Vaughn's gambling past, the car engine meetings, Queen Latifah), that it had a hard time getting the engine started. Either it should have been a comedy a la Couple's Retreat, or it should have been a drama and really explored the emotional impact of marital unfaithfulness with occasionally funny lines. The second option is probably beyond this cast's limitations (I'm looking at you, Paul Blart, Mall Cop), although Connelly was very good as Vaughn's patient girlfriend.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Movie Review: The Hangover 2 (starring Bradley Cooper and Ed Helms)
You know how bad you feel when you have a hangover? And then you promise yourself you're never going to drink that much again? And then you go out the next weekend and drink that much again? That's what this movie is like - if you woke up the second weekend with Mike Tyson's face tattoo. It's "The Hangover" on speed - each joke is raunchier, funnier, and more outlandish than before. I laughed the whole way through (when I wasn't cringing, that is).
The story starts with Stu (Ed Helms) planning to get married ... in Thailand (or Thigh-land as Zach Galifianakis continuously calls it). He tells Phil (Bradley Cooper) and Doug that he just wants a Bachelor Brunch at IHOP to make sure nothing messes up his wedding this time, but he'd really like them both to come to the wedding. Of course, they eventually invite Alan (Galifianakis) to complete the wolf pack. I think these set up scenes are among the funniest in the movie. You get the feeling that Galifianakis is ad-libbing about half of his lines and they're hilarious. I'm assuming the gag reel on the DVD will be as long as the movie.
Anyway, they get to Thailand and soon realize how much Stu's father-in-law hates him (Stu already knew it). But hey, at least they're at a great resort and no one's going to get roofied while drinking a beer out by a campfire or anything, right? And they aren't going to wake up in a dirty Bangkok hotel with Stu's brother-in-law missing, right? OK, I'm kidding. All of that happens. And that's when we get the awesome phone call from Phil to Doug's wife saying, "Uhh, we really $#@#ed up this time ..." I must say that the whole audience cracked up at that scene.
The rest of the movie proceeds exactly like you expect. And if there's a criticism of the movie it's that it's too much like the first one. At points I caught myself thinking "Is this "The Hangover I"?" But when director Todd Phillips hits the accelerator he really mashes it down. This movie isn't for the faint of heart - I think my wife had nightmares last night - but it sure is hilarious, and you get what you paid for ... another hangover that's even worse than the first one. I left thinking "There's no way I want to see that again" but then we met up with some friends and started talking the hilarious scenes and .... I have a sneaking suspicion that if there's a Hangover 3 (let's be honest - there were three "Crank" movies ... Hangover 3 is as certain as Galifianakis prancing around in his underwear at every appearance) I'll be right there ordering shots, totally forgetting the pounding headache from the last time. :)
What did you think? Have you seen it yet? Are you planning to see it? Not enough male nudity for you? Do you think you'll see it again?
The story starts with Stu (Ed Helms) planning to get married ... in Thailand (or Thigh-land as Zach Galifianakis continuously calls it). He tells Phil (Bradley Cooper) and Doug that he just wants a Bachelor Brunch at IHOP to make sure nothing messes up his wedding this time, but he'd really like them both to come to the wedding. Of course, they eventually invite Alan (Galifianakis) to complete the wolf pack. I think these set up scenes are among the funniest in the movie. You get the feeling that Galifianakis is ad-libbing about half of his lines and they're hilarious. I'm assuming the gag reel on the DVD will be as long as the movie.
Anyway, they get to Thailand and soon realize how much Stu's father-in-law hates him (Stu already knew it). But hey, at least they're at a great resort and no one's going to get roofied while drinking a beer out by a campfire or anything, right? And they aren't going to wake up in a dirty Bangkok hotel with Stu's brother-in-law missing, right? OK, I'm kidding. All of that happens. And that's when we get the awesome phone call from Phil to Doug's wife saying, "Uhh, we really $#@#ed up this time ..." I must say that the whole audience cracked up at that scene.
The rest of the movie proceeds exactly like you expect. And if there's a criticism of the movie it's that it's too much like the first one. At points I caught myself thinking "Is this "The Hangover I"?" But when director Todd Phillips hits the accelerator he really mashes it down. This movie isn't for the faint of heart - I think my wife had nightmares last night - but it sure is hilarious, and you get what you paid for ... another hangover that's even worse than the first one. I left thinking "There's no way I want to see that again" but then we met up with some friends and started talking the hilarious scenes and .... I have a sneaking suspicion that if there's a Hangover 3 (let's be honest - there were three "Crank" movies ... Hangover 3 is as certain as Galifianakis prancing around in his underwear at every appearance) I'll be right there ordering shots, totally forgetting the pounding headache from the last time. :)
What did you think? Have you seen it yet? Are you planning to see it? Not enough male nudity for you? Do you think you'll see it again?
Friday, May 27, 2011
American Idol Guest Blogger: Taylor takes on Scotty!!
So you may have noticed that I've kind of lost interest in American Idol as the season progressed. To me, the characters were wooden, the judges were lame, and the whole show just got boring. So now that it's over for this year, I couldn't bring myself to write about it at all. BUT - my wife enjoyed the season and (as you'll soon see) had strong opinions about it. So without further ado, welcome my first guest blogger ... TAYLOR!!!!
OK, I've needed an entire 24 hours to pass before I could talk about it...
[sigh] Scotty is a nice kid, but he's not worthy of the AI title. Period. I knew he won it when they showed live shots from their hometowns - Scotty's fans FILLED an ENTIRE STADIUM!!! Obviously I don't see (and most importantly, HEAR) what those fans see. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, the show had to know that he's been leading the voting probably since day one so they knew to make the rest of the show AWESOME & kept the crowning until the very end and didn't really focus on it!! I LOVE BEYONCE!!! And how about JLo shaking it like nobody's business??!!?? Oh, and Tim McGraw -- I was hoping Faith would join Lauren, but Carrie was great. Interesting how I like the sound of Lauren better than Carrie, but Lauren can't hit the notes Mrs. Underwood can. Come on Lauren, you can be a star if you'll go for it! And she's only 16!!!
The only way the show could have been better [minus the OBVIOUS fact that Scotty won] would have been to have Celine and Pia sing together! Wouldn't that have been TV worthy? [Observation: Scotty & Pia lack personality. Scotty brilliantly displayed that when he won.] Yikes, strong feelings from Taylor.
Another thought - these judges created an incredible cast for us to watch. Even though I think their criticisms could have been more pointed [wait a second, did they criticize?] the judges did a great job selecting the top 20 or however many there were.
Will I allow Scotty's win to stop me from watching next season??? That is the question...the answer: If JLo stays on, I'll watch!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Movie Review: Fast Five (starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, and The Rock)
So what can I say about this movie? It's terrible, but in an awesome way. Or it's awesome, but in a terrible way. I guess the best way to put it is this: when you go to Chuck E. Cheese, you don't expect to eat prime sirloin. So as long as you go into the movie expecting it to be what it is, then it comes through - big time. Just a warning: I'm going to talk about the plot a little bit, and I'm not going to put in Spoiler Alerts each time because, if it's possible to spoil this plot for you, you probably haven't seen a movie ever in your life (hint: it's predictable).
Here's the gist of the plot (stop me if you've heard it before): Diesel is a convicted felon (but a lovable convicted felon), and Walker is his old nemesis who is now dating (married to?) his sister. They steal some cars, go to Brazil (why Brazil? who knows!), steal some more cars, drive really fast, get in fights, drive even faster, and take down the evil overlord of Rio - by planning to steal his safe full of money. Of course, this requires the fastest driving of all. Oh yeah, Diesel took acting lessons from Batman - his voice is so low and hoarse that most of his lines come out like sounding like Mumbles from Dick Tracy (I know, mixed metaphors are bad).
I could probably write forever about this movie, but to be succinct, I'm going to break it down into the FIVE most ridiculous scenes.
1. Cliff Diving: While escaping with stolen cars (these guys are felons, remember), our heroes drive off a cliff approximately 3 miles high. No problem - there's a river at the bottom of the canyon so they just get out of their seat belts and pretend they're cliff diving, landing softly in the water.
2. The Rock: Everything about his is ridiculous about him in this movie (which means he's awesome). He's as muscled up as his WWE days and either has a sweating problem or they continually hosed him with oil and most of his lines could be delivered by Ivan Drago.
3. Safe Pulling: There's an extended scene where a massive safe is pulled by cars. Let's just say Terminator 3 was more realistic than this whole scene (that's not a compliment, Vin).
4. Vin Diesel's height: In one scene he looks The Rock in the eyes (Rock is 6' 4"), then in other scenes he's not close to as tall as Paul Walker (listed at 6' 1"). Is it embarrassing to film a scene standing on a box?
5. Inconsistent US Law Enforcement: In one scene, the Rock and his troops are confronted by dozens of thugs with drawn weapons. Of course, he calmly pulls out his pistol and a mean look and the thugs all back down. BUT in another scene, he bursts in with drawn weapons and when Diesel's friends draw theirs ("This is BRAZIL!!!") the Rock backs his troops down. So confusing. What kind of training are these fake federal agents getting these days?
There's so much more ridiculosity - in fact, it's almost as much fun to talk about it as watch it just for the wild scenes. And it seems like this is a viable movie franchise that could make 10 more movies - they've moved beyond racing movies and crafted a heist franchise, kind of a poor man's Ocean's Eleven. They may be terrible and dumb but they're just so awesome!
So what did you think? Are you looking forward to Fast 6: Lubbock Dirt Roads? Did it need more cars? more fighting?
Here's the gist of the plot (stop me if you've heard it before): Diesel is a convicted felon (but a lovable convicted felon), and Walker is his old nemesis who is now dating (married to?) his sister. They steal some cars, go to Brazil (why Brazil? who knows!), steal some more cars, drive really fast, get in fights, drive even faster, and take down the evil overlord of Rio - by planning to steal his safe full of money. Of course, this requires the fastest driving of all. Oh yeah, Diesel took acting lessons from Batman - his voice is so low and hoarse that most of his lines come out like sounding like Mumbles from Dick Tracy (I know, mixed metaphors are bad).
I could probably write forever about this movie, but to be succinct, I'm going to break it down into the FIVE most ridiculous scenes.
1. Cliff Diving: While escaping with stolen cars (these guys are felons, remember), our heroes drive off a cliff approximately 3 miles high. No problem - there's a river at the bottom of the canyon so they just get out of their seat belts and pretend they're cliff diving, landing softly in the water.
2. The Rock: Everything about his is ridiculous about him in this movie (which means he's awesome). He's as muscled up as his WWE days and either has a sweating problem or they continually hosed him with oil and most of his lines could be delivered by Ivan Drago.
3. Safe Pulling: There's an extended scene where a massive safe is pulled by cars. Let's just say Terminator 3 was more realistic than this whole scene (that's not a compliment, Vin).
4. Vin Diesel's height: In one scene he looks The Rock in the eyes (Rock is 6' 4"), then in other scenes he's not close to as tall as Paul Walker (listed at 6' 1"). Is it embarrassing to film a scene standing on a box?
5. Inconsistent US Law Enforcement: In one scene, the Rock and his troops are confronted by dozens of thugs with drawn weapons. Of course, he calmly pulls out his pistol and a mean look and the thugs all back down. BUT in another scene, he bursts in with drawn weapons and when Diesel's friends draw theirs ("This is BRAZIL!!!") the Rock backs his troops down. So confusing. What kind of training are these fake federal agents getting these days?
There's so much more ridiculosity - in fact, it's almost as much fun to talk about it as watch it just for the wild scenes. And it seems like this is a viable movie franchise that could make 10 more movies - they've moved beyond racing movies and crafted a heist franchise, kind of a poor man's Ocean's Eleven. They may be terrible and dumb but they're just so awesome!
So what did you think? Are you looking forward to Fast 6: Lubbock Dirt Roads? Did it need more cars? more fighting?
Monday, May 9, 2011
The Lincoln Lawyer (starring Matthew McConaughey and Marisa Tomei)
The Story: Matthew McConaughey plays Mick Haller, a defense lawyer who uses the back seat of a Lincoln for his office (not that way - his actual working office!). I'm not really sure why that's important in this movie, but at least they don't make a huge deal out of it. I guess it keep overhead down. His clients are the usual guys that defense lawyers get - motorcycle thugs, junkies, other people who probably commit crimes in their sleep. However, when he gets Louis Roulet (Ryan Phillippe) as a client, things start to get weird. Roulet is your typical movie version of a spoiled rich kid, and he's accused of killing a prostitute. But there are a lot of similarities between this crime and one he defended years ago, where he convinced a client to take a plea deal in exchange for avoiding the death penalty. The twists and turns come as Haller tries to determine whether his client is guilty, and what to do about it if he is. Marisa Tomei plays his ex-wife, although she really doesn't have anything to do here.
The Pros:
The Pros:
- McConaughey - he's in his element here, playing a cocky, slow talking lawyer. Hugh Grant is the only other actor who is so good at one type of role that you almost don't mind him doing the same thing in each movie. If you like McConaughey, you'll love this movie.
- Phillippe - he's not a good actor, but he plays the spoiled rich kid so well that you have to wonder how much he's actually acting ...
- The plot - it's entertaining and has twists and turns while not being overly complicated
The Cons:
- William H. Macy - remember when we thought this guy could headline a movie? I've always liked him, but it seems those days are long gone. He's only a bit player here.
- Movie Advertising - They made a big deal out of the star power in this film, when Marisa Tomei doesn't really have role, and William H. Macy is a bit player. At the same time, the title character (the Lincoln car) only has a couple of scenes. Lies, lies lies!!
The Final Grade: A-. Basically if you liked "A Time To Kill" you'll like this movie. As long as you're looking for an entertaining way to spend a couple hours, this movie is the perfect choice.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
American Idol's Not So Magnificent 7
I really liked last night's idea of having each of the contestants dish on the others. The performances, though, were pretty forgettable. Here's my breakdown of where we stand with only 7 contestants left.
People I Can't Stand
Scotty McCreery: He's right at the top of this list. And it seems like the judges are beginning to agree with me by FINALLY addressing his weird microphone holding routine and lack of anything remotely interesting. But now I'm equally baffled - he knows it's weird to hold your mic like a flute yet he keeps doing it! What's wrong with this guy? And who is voting for him? Everyone says little girls, but don't little girls vote for attractive guys? He seems like a good kid and a nice guy but attractive isn't a trait I'd expect to be attached to Scotty. Besides all that, I can't stand him because he said that "Swingin" was a LeAnn Rimes song. I'm assuming that was just so that it fit with the night's theme of recorded after 2000, but it's still terrible.
Steven Tyler: That's right, I'm bringing the judges into this now. Steven seems like a little brother - if he doesn't have the spotlight on him for 30 seconds he starts tugging someone's pigtails or knocking over lamps just to make everyone look at him. He was great during auditions but has gone slowly downhill since. He was so proud of that stupid lipstick on his cheek last night - he kept it there the whole night and was dying for someone to ask him about it. Thankfully no one did. So weird.
James Durbin: Another case of nice kid, annoying performer. Just vote the guy off and send him on tour already so he can dream up pianos exploding and midgets dancing and lightning striking through each of his songs. It's funny how they act like he's special because he dreams up cool things to do on stage. Although I am glad that he takes advantage of Idol's budget and creative license to do something other than stand there and sing. I just feel like he's trying so hard to be a "Rock and Roll guy" that it comes across totally fake, from the Eeyore scarf tails to the manufactured arena rock each week. Whatever. (and yes, I realize that the two contestants I can't stand most are favorites to win it. Just shoot me.)
Jacob Lusk: I must admit, I didn't even listen to his song last night. All of his vocal histrionics are just too much for me. I thought it was strange that Randy told him he needed to let go more and blow out the roof, when two weeks ago they told him hold back more and only rev up for one or two parts of the song. Very confusing judges. Jacob lost me when he did "Man In the Mirror" and said that if he was voted off it would be because America couldn't look in the mirror. Lame. And not true. If he gets voted off it's because he isn't that good and we're tired of his diva act.
Contestants that were already voted off coming back to sing a song: This was the worst part of the night. Naima was overacting so badly that I think the camera actually melted. Pia was obviously trying hard to prove that she could be fun and dance around on stage. Paul was bored and waiting for the bus to leave so he could get on tour (and wearing rose suits again - geez). Thia and Karen ... well, they were just as noticeable during this as during the actual show - so not very noticeable.
People I CAN stand
Randy Jackson: He's like a crazy uncle. He tries just as hard as Steven Tyler does, but he tries to be a cool kid. It's painful sometimes to watch him want to be included with the other famous singers and try to make funny comments. Last night he gave some good critiques and overall I think he knows his stuff and seems to care about these kids.
Haley Reinhart: She really has a great voice that's fun to listen to but she's just. so. boring. I thought her song was amazing last night but her personality just put the audience to sleep. She has no presence on stage and doesn't command anything. Her song choices have been massive hits or misses.
Casey Abrams: I kind of loved him kissing J Lo last night. You could tell that he was half mortified/half thrilled after he did it. Kind of like the kid who pulls off Santa's beard. He's just so talented and fun to listen to. Sometimes he gets a little too interested in growling and yelling and forgets to be good at singing but he has all of the natural creativity and James forces.
J. Lo: She's been kind of a revelation on this show. She hasn't been near the diva that I expected and you can tell she cares about the kids. I think she takes her judging seriously and even though she has a tough time being harsh or coming down hard on anyone she's been the most reliable judge. And I don't think she's going out among the masses during commercials and hanging out with Lauren's mom or anything, but she has been pretty approachable and human - which is more than I expected.
People I Actually Like
Lauren Alaina: She just cracks me up.
Ryan Seacrest: He really is the hardest working guy in show business. But he's so good at keeping that show on the rails. I don't have any idea how much he ad libs throughout the night but he's so natural with everything that it makes the show more fun to watch. I'm afraid with anyone lesser in his role these episodes could be a real drag.
So what do you think? Who's going home tonight? My pick is Jacob but I've been wrong every time before this.
People I Can't Stand
Scotty McCreery: He's right at the top of this list. And it seems like the judges are beginning to agree with me by FINALLY addressing his weird microphone holding routine and lack of anything remotely interesting. But now I'm equally baffled - he knows it's weird to hold your mic like a flute yet he keeps doing it! What's wrong with this guy? And who is voting for him? Everyone says little girls, but don't little girls vote for attractive guys? He seems like a good kid and a nice guy but attractive isn't a trait I'd expect to be attached to Scotty. Besides all that, I can't stand him because he said that "Swingin" was a LeAnn Rimes song. I'm assuming that was just so that it fit with the night's theme of recorded after 2000, but it's still terrible.
Steven Tyler: That's right, I'm bringing the judges into this now. Steven seems like a little brother - if he doesn't have the spotlight on him for 30 seconds he starts tugging someone's pigtails or knocking over lamps just to make everyone look at him. He was great during auditions but has gone slowly downhill since. He was so proud of that stupid lipstick on his cheek last night - he kept it there the whole night and was dying for someone to ask him about it. Thankfully no one did. So weird.
James Durbin: Another case of nice kid, annoying performer. Just vote the guy off and send him on tour already so he can dream up pianos exploding and midgets dancing and lightning striking through each of his songs. It's funny how they act like he's special because he dreams up cool things to do on stage. Although I am glad that he takes advantage of Idol's budget and creative license to do something other than stand there and sing. I just feel like he's trying so hard to be a "Rock and Roll guy" that it comes across totally fake, from the Eeyore scarf tails to the manufactured arena rock each week. Whatever. (and yes, I realize that the two contestants I can't stand most are favorites to win it. Just shoot me.)
Jacob Lusk: I must admit, I didn't even listen to his song last night. All of his vocal histrionics are just too much for me. I thought it was strange that Randy told him he needed to let go more and blow out the roof, when two weeks ago they told him hold back more and only rev up for one or two parts of the song. Very confusing judges. Jacob lost me when he did "Man In the Mirror" and said that if he was voted off it would be because America couldn't look in the mirror. Lame. And not true. If he gets voted off it's because he isn't that good and we're tired of his diva act.
Contestants that were already voted off coming back to sing a song: This was the worst part of the night. Naima was overacting so badly that I think the camera actually melted. Pia was obviously trying hard to prove that she could be fun and dance around on stage. Paul was bored and waiting for the bus to leave so he could get on tour (and wearing rose suits again - geez). Thia and Karen ... well, they were just as noticeable during this as during the actual show - so not very noticeable.
People I CAN stand
Randy Jackson: He's like a crazy uncle. He tries just as hard as Steven Tyler does, but he tries to be a cool kid. It's painful sometimes to watch him want to be included with the other famous singers and try to make funny comments. Last night he gave some good critiques and overall I think he knows his stuff and seems to care about these kids.
Haley Reinhart: She really has a great voice that's fun to listen to but she's just. so. boring. I thought her song was amazing last night but her personality just put the audience to sleep. She has no presence on stage and doesn't command anything. Her song choices have been massive hits or misses.
Casey Abrams: I kind of loved him kissing J Lo last night. You could tell that he was half mortified/half thrilled after he did it. Kind of like the kid who pulls off Santa's beard. He's just so talented and fun to listen to. Sometimes he gets a little too interested in growling and yelling and forgets to be good at singing but he has all of the natural creativity and James forces.
J. Lo: She's been kind of a revelation on this show. She hasn't been near the diva that I expected and you can tell she cares about the kids. I think she takes her judging seriously and even though she has a tough time being harsh or coming down hard on anyone she's been the most reliable judge. And I don't think she's going out among the masses during commercials and hanging out with Lauren's mom or anything, but she has been pretty approachable and human - which is more than I expected.
People I Actually Like
Lauren Alaina: She just cracks me up.
Ryan Seacrest: He really is the hardest working guy in show business. But he's so good at keeping that show on the rails. I don't have any idea how much he ad libs throughout the night but he's so natural with everything that it makes the show more fun to watch. I'm afraid with anyone lesser in his role these episodes could be a real drag.
So what do you think? Who's going home tonight? My pick is Jacob but I've been wrong every time before this.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Unstoppable (starring Denzel and Captain Kirk - the young one)
You know the saying "It was like a train wreck but I couldn't stop watching it"? That's literally how to describe this movie. The whole thing was so formulaic and predictable that once it started down the tracks there weren't any surprises or twists in the road. And is it bad that everytime young Captain Kirk was on the screen I was waiting for him to say something from Star Trek? That's called typecasting, right? Oh well, if he makes a few more movies like this I'm sure I'll forget about him completely.
Here's the basic story: a low level railroad employee (played with awesome unintentional comedy by "Randy" from My Name Is Earl) puts a train in full speed ahead mode then steps out of the cab (it's a railroad thing, you wouldn't understand). This starts the train rocketing down the tracks toward a town of 750,000 people, where it will hit a sharp curve and derail. Oh yeah, there's some kind of highly dangerous (flammable? radioactive? they never really say) liquid on the train just to up the fear factor a little. Anyway, the railroad tries everything they can to stop the runaway train but, of course, the only ones who can do that are our heroes, two very brave but sympathetically flawed characters. (Spoiler alert - in case you've never seen a movie before and can't guess how this ends) These guys do all sorts of heroic things (but not before spending over half the movie just driving backwards in their engine very fast ... it's really as unexciting as that sentence made it sound) to catch the speeding runaway. Once they've caught up to a high stakes game of tug of war starts between the little engine that maybe could and the big bad runaway. Of course, despite numerous close calls, they eventually mount the engine, shut down the runaway, and save all of humankind.
The actors in this movie do a really good job and almost pull it off, but the script totally kills them. It's straight out of acting school 101. Stop me if you've heard of these story ideas before:
Anyway, there are way too many random characters thrown in as well. There's a head welder whose whole role seems to be to drive really fast from crossing to crossing so he can watch the train rush past and curse under his breath. There's a know-it-all from the Federal Railroad Association, etc. etc. Maybe the director just has a lot of friends who have never gotten to be in a movie before. This whole movie could have been about 20 minutes shorter (a complaint I'm having more and more these days - where have all the good editors gone?) and it would have been much better. This movie would have been called "Unwatchable" without Denzel. I give the script 1 star and Denzel 1.5 stars.
Here's the basic story: a low level railroad employee (played with awesome unintentional comedy by "Randy" from My Name Is Earl) puts a train in full speed ahead mode then steps out of the cab (it's a railroad thing, you wouldn't understand). This starts the train rocketing down the tracks toward a town of 750,000 people, where it will hit a sharp curve and derail. Oh yeah, there's some kind of highly dangerous (flammable? radioactive? they never really say) liquid on the train just to up the fear factor a little. Anyway, the railroad tries everything they can to stop the runaway train but, of course, the only ones who can do that are our heroes, two very brave but sympathetically flawed characters. (Spoiler alert - in case you've never seen a movie before and can't guess how this ends) These guys do all sorts of heroic things (but not before spending over half the movie just driving backwards in their engine very fast ... it's really as unexciting as that sentence made it sound) to catch the speeding runaway. Once they've caught up to a high stakes game of tug of war starts between the little engine that maybe could and the big bad runaway. Of course, despite numerous close calls, they eventually mount the engine, shut down the runaway, and save all of humankind.
The actors in this movie do a really good job and almost pull it off, but the script totally kills them. It's straight out of acting school 101. Stop me if you've heard of these story ideas before:
- Long time employee is done wrong by his company but he rises above to save that same damn evil company
- Rookie gets paired with grizzled veteran (they might as well have called these guys "partners")
- Old timer with experience has to put up with Silver Spoon rookie
- Silver Spoon rookie turns out to be a natural talent
- Old timer's street smarts trump corporate stuffed shirts "rules"
- Young hero has relationship problems that get magically solved by his bravery
- Father has a poor relationship with his children that gets magically solved by his bravery
- Ridiculous upping of the ante and overhyping of consequences if heroes fail
- "James Bond villain" solutions to all problems that ensure they don't get solved until the end of the movie
- Corporations are evil and only care about the stock price
- Local employee dares to go against the corporate monolith
Anyway, there are way too many random characters thrown in as well. There's a head welder whose whole role seems to be to drive really fast from crossing to crossing so he can watch the train rush past and curse under his breath. There's a know-it-all from the Federal Railroad Association, etc. etc. Maybe the director just has a lot of friends who have never gotten to be in a movie before. This whole movie could have been about 20 minutes shorter (a complaint I'm having more and more these days - where have all the good editors gone?) and it would have been much better. This movie would have been called "Unwatchable" without Denzel. I give the script 1 star and Denzel 1.5 stars.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The Expendables (starring the one and only Sly Stallone)
My good friend Jamie used to travel a lot for her job and when she got back from her trips she would post to her blog "5 things I learned about ________." These were always hilarious. You should check out her stuff at phaino.blogspot.com. In honor of her idea, I'm doing a 5 Things I Learned From The Expendables.
1. Dolph Lundgren wasn't using an accent during Rocky IV - he just can't speak.
2. Stallone definitely gets in shape using a Bowflex and personal chef. Just kidding. He uses steroids. Lots of them. No one 60 years old is as big as he is naturally. (Quick aside: The icons of our youth die hard ... I've always wanted to believe that Rocky and the Hulkster did it the natural way. Pretty tough to dispute as they stay the same size into their 50s/60s.)
3. When in doubt - MORE EXPLOSIONS!!!
4. If you ever go on a vacation and see lots of pictures of the leader of the country dressed in fatigues, just go ahead and shorten your trip. These guys don't wear those uniforms because they're more comfortable than suits.
5. Eric Roberts must be a bad guy in real life. At this point, if I met him I'd assume he was going to steal my wallet, my wife, or both. Couldn't he get Julia to produce a movie where he's a good guy just once?
1. Dolph Lundgren wasn't using an accent during Rocky IV - he just can't speak.
2. Stallone definitely gets in shape using a Bowflex and personal chef. Just kidding. He uses steroids. Lots of them. No one 60 years old is as big as he is naturally. (Quick aside: The icons of our youth die hard ... I've always wanted to believe that Rocky and the Hulkster did it the natural way. Pretty tough to dispute as they stay the same size into their 50s/60s.)
3. When in doubt - MORE EXPLOSIONS!!!
4. If you ever go on a vacation and see lots of pictures of the leader of the country dressed in fatigues, just go ahead and shorten your trip. These guys don't wear those uniforms because they're more comfortable than suits.
5. Eric Roberts must be a bad guy in real life. At this point, if I met him I'd assume he was going to steal my wallet, my wife, or both. Couldn't he get Julia to produce a movie where he's a good guy just once?
Monday, March 28, 2011
The Adjust-"meh" Bureau (starring Matt Damon)
I think we've all been there - it's the biggest night of your life, you wander into the bathroom to collect your thoughts and there's a woman in there. Of course, you begin chatting, share a kiss, then spend the next three years looking for her every day. What's that? That's never happened to you? Me neither ... and that's what kept me from enjoying The Adjustment Bureau. It was too hard for me to believe that a young, good looking Senator would spend years searching for a woman he met for 30 seconds.
So a quick overview of the movie ... there is a group (the Adjustment Bureau) that is tasked with making sure that all things happen according to the latest version of "the plan" (we never really learn who makes the plan and why it's the best way for things to go down). When Matt Damon succeeds in finding the woman from the first scene, he pursues a relationship with her and the guys from the bureau go into overtime. They kidnap Damon and use some coercive methods to get him to leave her alone, but he's the hero, so of course he ignores them. Eventually he learns that if he pursues her they both lose their dreams - his of presidency and hers of being the greatest ballet dancer in the world (yeah right). As their relationship deepens, the Bureau gets more desperate to keep them apart. I won't give away the ending, but Damon and his girl (played by Emily Blunt) embark on a risky race against time and against the all-seeing, all-knowing agents.
Let's talk about the agents - they're very sharply dressed and look straight out of the 50's. I half expected them to say things like "The jig is up" and refer to women as "dolls." They seem to be able to appear wherever they are needed and can move objects with their minds. They each carry a notebook with The Plan inside to let them know how to shape events. They seem generally friendly, but determined. It would be nice if they would at least break into a run, though, to help us understand the urgency of their mission. Oh yeah, and their powers don't work around water (They must have liked the twist in "Signs" more than most people). Luckily it starts to storm right when Matt Damon needs to make his big escape!
And what's with all the recent movies about dancing? Between "Benjamin Button," "Black Swan," a million "Step UP" movies there's way too much dancing on the silver screen. How is there not a remake of "Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo on the way? I'm sure I've ever heard anyone say "That movie was good, but it could have used some ballet scenes." Enough already, Hollywood!!
It may sound like I hated the movie and I didn't - Matt Damon is earnest enough to sell his role. The other actors were enjoyable as well, although with the way they toured NYC landmarks made me think the director had never been there and wanted to see the sights while he was in town. Beyond the implausibility of the first scene (they tried to assuage me with vague references to "other versions of the plan") it was an OK movie and a GREAT choice for date night. My wife LOVED it and had none of my cynical reactions.
So what grade did I give it? I have to go with C+, but if you're not very cynical or enjoy a good love story, then check it out. It'll keep your attention and could be worse.
So a quick overview of the movie ... there is a group (the Adjustment Bureau) that is tasked with making sure that all things happen according to the latest version of "the plan" (we never really learn who makes the plan and why it's the best way for things to go down). When Matt Damon succeeds in finding the woman from the first scene, he pursues a relationship with her and the guys from the bureau go into overtime. They kidnap Damon and use some coercive methods to get him to leave her alone, but he's the hero, so of course he ignores them. Eventually he learns that if he pursues her they both lose their dreams - his of presidency and hers of being the greatest ballet dancer in the world (yeah right). As their relationship deepens, the Bureau gets more desperate to keep them apart. I won't give away the ending, but Damon and his girl (played by Emily Blunt) embark on a risky race against time and against the all-seeing, all-knowing agents.
Let's talk about the agents - they're very sharply dressed and look straight out of the 50's. I half expected them to say things like "The jig is up" and refer to women as "dolls." They seem to be able to appear wherever they are needed and can move objects with their minds. They each carry a notebook with The Plan inside to let them know how to shape events. They seem generally friendly, but determined. It would be nice if they would at least break into a run, though, to help us understand the urgency of their mission. Oh yeah, and their powers don't work around water (They must have liked the twist in "Signs" more than most people). Luckily it starts to storm right when Matt Damon needs to make his big escape!
And what's with all the recent movies about dancing? Between "Benjamin Button," "Black Swan," a million "Step UP" movies there's way too much dancing on the silver screen. How is there not a remake of "Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo on the way? I'm sure I've ever heard anyone say "That movie was good, but it could have used some ballet scenes." Enough already, Hollywood!!
It may sound like I hated the movie and I didn't - Matt Damon is earnest enough to sell his role. The other actors were enjoyable as well, although with the way they toured NYC landmarks made me think the director had never been there and wanted to see the sights while he was in town. Beyond the implausibility of the first scene (they tried to assuage me with vague references to "other versions of the plan") it was an OK movie and a GREAT choice for date night. My wife LOVED it and had none of my cynical reactions.
So what grade did I give it? I have to go with C+, but if you're not very cynical or enjoy a good love story, then check it out. It'll keep your attention and could be worse.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
American Idol Top 11
Here's my power rankings for the last 11 contestants ...
Your Cab To The Airport Is Waiting
11. Thia Megia: It's nice to see this little robot got a software upgrade that includes a setting for "Fun," but she just doesn't have the charisma to compete in this thing. Her voice is almost perfect but her personality is so average. Can you imagine listening to a whole concert by her?
10. Haley Reinhart: No reason to think she won't be in the bottom three again. And she should fire her wardrobe person - not sure how to describe her outfit but she looked like she was going to topple over at any minute. It's OK to wear shoes with less than 7 inch heels - really, it's fine.
9. Naima Adedopo: I just looked up how to spell her name and I'm pretty sure I still got it wrong. She completely wears me out and if I was choosing, she'd go home just so we don't have to see her dance anymore. Someone needs to tell her this is American Idol not So You Think You Can Dance. She sang OK last night but why give up 10 seconds of your time on stage to do a dance routine when this is a singing competition? In other news, at the NFL combine Cam Newton spent 30 minutes showcasing his golf swing.
You Should Probably Get Started On That First Record
8. Lauren Alaina: The good news -- her mom got the message was wearing a very age/color appropriate gray outfit. (What are the chances that her pink explosion last week was a prank?) The bad news -- her song wasn't great and I'm afraid that Lauren won't go as far as we once thought. She still cracks me up when she's interviewed but her songs just don't seem to be connecting like they once did.
7. Paul McDonald: At this point I think he's hoping to get voted out so he can go record a record or something. Each week the judges and producers crow about his unique voice. It seems like he's not as good at singing as the other peeps, but I can definitely see people jamming into Austin City Limits to listen to him and watch him drunkenly stumble around the stage. I hope that the producers and judges don't get him overthinking everything. He seems to be trying to perform a little differently now than before.
6. Stefano Langone: I love that he did "Hello." And I'm not sure what everyone wants for a "connection." He's just not the kind of guy who's going to run around the stage slapping hands and dancing with J.Lo (but he should try that - she's obviously all about him!). He's best when he just stands in place and sings his little soap opera villian doppleganger heart out. And I don't know who that Gordon Ramsey guy was, but it was pretty cold of him to dis Stefano's mom's pasta. What a jack-wagon.
Where The Competition Really Begins
5. Jacob Lusk: If anyone is surprised that he did well with Motown week, you'll be excited to hear that water is wet. Come on, this week was set up for him like "Sing a Country Song and Nothing Else week" for Scotty. To his credit, he followed the producers' advice and let the song come to him (thanks Bill Walton). His facial gymnastics are starting to wear me out (look for this theme to recur), but when he just sings a song I really like him. How come the judges don't tell him to walk around or something? He's just as rooted as Stefano and has his eyes just as closed. I think that's called charisma or something ...
4. Casey Abrams: This guy has been a favorite of mine, but I'm worried about him. He came out as such a favorite that I think the judges and voters will get a little tired of him. He killed it last night with his song and he's probably going to have a great singing career but I can tell that he's probably already in 8th gear and this show seems like it rewards people who start in 2nd gear and move to 5th.
Quick pet peeve: Casey (and pretty much everyone else) declared last night that he "grew up with Motown" -- Really? I didn't know the Supremes were recording in the mid 90s. Does he mean Michael Jackson? Because I'm pretty sure he recorded "Thriller" somewhere else. Hearing "My Girl" on the radio three times doesn't count as growing up with something. I think they mean they grew up hearing about Motown. When Scotty "I'll turn Meatloaf into a country singer" McCreery talks about it I call foul.
3. Pia Toscano: In a shocking development, Pia sang well, looked like a mannequin, waved her arms like Miss America, and ... was actually really impressive. I mean, she just sounds good. And I love how the judges get on her about only singing ballads when Scotty sings country songs every week (can you tell I'm sick of him???). She's a smart singer and she picks songs that showcase her best voice and she rocks them. No complaints here.
I Can Tell This Won't End the Way I Want It To
2. Scotty McCreery: Oh Scotty. You're just so limited (and creepy). I know that every time I hear you sing I think I'm at an actual Randy Travis concert. But can you please watch yourself sing sometime? No guy holds the microphone with two hands. And Elvis called - he doesn't want his lip curl back he just wants to tell you it looks lame when you try to copy him. He also said that you move your head around when you sing in ways that makes people feel creepy. But I've resigned myself to the fact that you'll sail through each week singing the same song in a couple different keys and people will love it. Whatever. See you at the Dawson County fair in a few years.
1. James Durbin: James, you completely wear me out. You seem like a nice guy but get over yourself. After your song is over, get to the mark and listen to the judges. Stop pandering to the crowd and pointing out every person you see. You look like an idiot - a cocky idiot (which is the worst kind). I really want to like you but you're insufferable. And you refuse to quit wearing that stupid tail. You aren't Steven Tyler. Not even close. And you sing really well so why do you insist on screaming into the microphone each week? I get it, you can sing real high (cue Derek from "Stepbrothers"). You just look like you're trying very hard to convince yourself that you're a certain person and I'm not buying it. But congratulations, you and Scotty are going to be in the finals and I'm going to shoot my TV with a shotgun.
Your Cab To The Airport Is Waiting
11. Thia Megia: It's nice to see this little robot got a software upgrade that includes a setting for "Fun," but she just doesn't have the charisma to compete in this thing. Her voice is almost perfect but her personality is so average. Can you imagine listening to a whole concert by her?
10. Haley Reinhart: No reason to think she won't be in the bottom three again. And she should fire her wardrobe person - not sure how to describe her outfit but she looked like she was going to topple over at any minute. It's OK to wear shoes with less than 7 inch heels - really, it's fine.
9. Naima Adedopo: I just looked up how to spell her name and I'm pretty sure I still got it wrong. She completely wears me out and if I was choosing, she'd go home just so we don't have to see her dance anymore. Someone needs to tell her this is American Idol not So You Think You Can Dance. She sang OK last night but why give up 10 seconds of your time on stage to do a dance routine when this is a singing competition? In other news, at the NFL combine Cam Newton spent 30 minutes showcasing his golf swing.
You Should Probably Get Started On That First Record
8. Lauren Alaina: The good news -- her mom got the message was wearing a very age/color appropriate gray outfit. (What are the chances that her pink explosion last week was a prank?) The bad news -- her song wasn't great and I'm afraid that Lauren won't go as far as we once thought. She still cracks me up when she's interviewed but her songs just don't seem to be connecting like they once did.
7. Paul McDonald: At this point I think he's hoping to get voted out so he can go record a record or something. Each week the judges and producers crow about his unique voice. It seems like he's not as good at singing as the other peeps, but I can definitely see people jamming into Austin City Limits to listen to him and watch him drunkenly stumble around the stage. I hope that the producers and judges don't get him overthinking everything. He seems to be trying to perform a little differently now than before.
6. Stefano Langone: I love that he did "Hello." And I'm not sure what everyone wants for a "connection." He's just not the kind of guy who's going to run around the stage slapping hands and dancing with J.Lo (but he should try that - she's obviously all about him!). He's best when he just stands in place and sings his little soap opera villian doppleganger heart out. And I don't know who that Gordon Ramsey guy was, but it was pretty cold of him to dis Stefano's mom's pasta. What a jack-wagon.
Where The Competition Really Begins
5. Jacob Lusk: If anyone is surprised that he did well with Motown week, you'll be excited to hear that water is wet. Come on, this week was set up for him like "Sing a Country Song and Nothing Else week" for Scotty. To his credit, he followed the producers' advice and let the song come to him (thanks Bill Walton). His facial gymnastics are starting to wear me out (look for this theme to recur), but when he just sings a song I really like him. How come the judges don't tell him to walk around or something? He's just as rooted as Stefano and has his eyes just as closed. I think that's called charisma or something ...
4. Casey Abrams: This guy has been a favorite of mine, but I'm worried about him. He came out as such a favorite that I think the judges and voters will get a little tired of him. He killed it last night with his song and he's probably going to have a great singing career but I can tell that he's probably already in 8th gear and this show seems like it rewards people who start in 2nd gear and move to 5th.
Quick pet peeve: Casey (and pretty much everyone else) declared last night that he "grew up with Motown" -- Really? I didn't know the Supremes were recording in the mid 90s. Does he mean Michael Jackson? Because I'm pretty sure he recorded "Thriller" somewhere else. Hearing "My Girl" on the radio three times doesn't count as growing up with something. I think they mean they grew up hearing about Motown. When Scotty "I'll turn Meatloaf into a country singer" McCreery talks about it I call foul.
3. Pia Toscano: In a shocking development, Pia sang well, looked like a mannequin, waved her arms like Miss America, and ... was actually really impressive. I mean, she just sounds good. And I love how the judges get on her about only singing ballads when Scotty sings country songs every week (can you tell I'm sick of him???). She's a smart singer and she picks songs that showcase her best voice and she rocks them. No complaints here.
I Can Tell This Won't End the Way I Want It To
2. Scotty McCreery: Oh Scotty. You're just so limited (and creepy). I know that every time I hear you sing I think I'm at an actual Randy Travis concert. But can you please watch yourself sing sometime? No guy holds the microphone with two hands. And Elvis called - he doesn't want his lip curl back he just wants to tell you it looks lame when you try to copy him. He also said that you move your head around when you sing in ways that makes people feel creepy. But I've resigned myself to the fact that you'll sail through each week singing the same song in a couple different keys and people will love it. Whatever. See you at the Dawson County fair in a few years.
1. James Durbin: James, you completely wear me out. You seem like a nice guy but get over yourself. After your song is over, get to the mark and listen to the judges. Stop pandering to the crowd and pointing out every person you see. You look like an idiot - a cocky idiot (which is the worst kind). I really want to like you but you're insufferable. And you refuse to quit wearing that stupid tail. You aren't Steven Tyler. Not even close. And you sing really well so why do you insist on screaming into the microphone each week? I get it, you can sing real high (cue Derek from "Stepbrothers"). You just look like you're trying very hard to convince yourself that you're a certain person and I'm not buying it. But congratulations, you and Scotty are going to be in the finals and I'm going to shoot my TV with a shotgun.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
American Idol Top 12
Last night was definitely not the contestants' best show. It sounded like there were audio problems of some kind ... but I like that no one blamed anything on song choice (I'm looking at you, Jordan Dorsey) or monitor problems. But now on to my first annual rankings!
No Chance Whatsoever
12. Karen Rodriguez - She seems like such a sweet girl and I loved her mom but all of her performances leave me bored. Plus, we get it, you can speak Spanish. And you like J Lo. And you pick strange outfits. It's been fun, but it's probably time to go.
11. Thia Megia - I'm not sure she could have chosen a worse song last night. Of all the fun, upbeat songs at her disposal she picks one from Pocahontas .... not the best moment for the little robot. I can't figure her out - she obviously has mad talent but no charisma whatsoever.
Interesting, But No Thanks
10. Naima Adedapo - I think she has found her sweet spot as an artist/performer, unfortunately it's not a good spot for this contest. She rocked Umbrella last week and although "What's Love Got to Do With It" was a horrible song choice I could tell she had a lot of fun and she seems to have a great voice. I wish she would pick songs that have more actual singing and less pitchy talking.
9. Haley Reinhart - Was anyone surprised to see that she was from Chicago? Me neither. The judges nailed it last night - she seems to be flailing around trying to find a style that will please the judges and ends up missing each time. Her talent is undeniable but she needs to find a groove and stick to it. And what was Jimmy Iovine saying about work ethic last night? Has she been lazy? Very confusing.
On The Outside Looking In
8. Stefano Langone - I love this little guy. He has a big voice and seems like he brings it every time. His song choice last night was great and he sang the fire out of it. However, I just don't get a winning vibe from him. Not sure if America will vote for him but I see the judges possibly using a save on him if he can last a few more weeks. I'm rooting for him (and he's my wife's favorite - she cheers whenever he's on the screen, so that counts for something!).
7. Paul McDonald - I'll admit, I'd watch a whole show of just this guy. I'm not sure if he's as interesting in real life as he is when he sings, but he's mesmerizing. His voice clearly isn't as strong as some of the others, but his quirkiness makes him memorable. He's picked great songs, too. That being said, I'm afraid he won't be able to make it beyond top 7 or 8. But I'll bet Jimmy Iovine can't wait to sign him to a deal and record a record or two with that crazy voice and drunken marionette dancing.
Against My Better Judgment
6. Jacob Lusk - He sounded great last night and I love that Heart song (actually downloaded it on iTunes this morning). I would have put Jacob in his own category (Really Loud Singers that I Never Want To Hear Again) before last night, but he toned down the Christina Aguilera theatrics and just sang a really good song really well. His interviews about his mom were pretty funny as well. I don't think he's going to win, but he'll be fun to have along for the ride.
5. Scotty McCreery - I'll be the 1,000,000,000th person to bring up that Scotty is a one trick pony. He's pretty good at that trick, and I thought last night he sung a sneaky-tough Travis Tritt song very well, but I just can't imagine listening to "Baby, Lock those doors and shut the blinds" or whatever that song is that he sang for the first 3 months of the show. Plus, what's with the weird faces and holding the microphone like someone from the Lawrence Welk Show? He looks normal until he starts singing, then suddenly becomes Creepy McCreeper. He sounds like every country singer on the radio so I'm sure he'll have a good career, and I think we should let him get started ASAP by voting him off this show!
4. James Durbin - I loved his song choice last night but he never really seemed to hit the notes right. On a side note - these kids were born in some great years for music! I love how J Lo was jamming with them on most songs. I'm surprised she didn't come out in stonewashed tight rolled Guess? jeans. I think on a few songs her desire to have fun and jam with the songs got in the way of her actually listening to the person signing right in front of her, but she was having a great time! Back to James - I've never really liked him in this contest for a lot of reasons, but I can't deny that he was as likeable last night as ever. Unfortunately, I thought he sang his worst song of the contest ... even if J Lo was thinking too hard about crimped hair and friendship bracelets to hear it.
The Best of the Best
3. Lauren Alaina - I think Lauren is a little like a more talented, more charismatic Scotty. She doesn't seem to have a lot of range to her singing styles but she's really good at her style and she's so fun to listen to that you forget about all of that. Do I think she'll win? No. But I could definitely see her in the finals. Really, the only issue with her last night was her mom's wardrobe in the family interviews. Did she get attacked by some backwoods version of Forever XXI on the way home that day? And Janet Jackson called from the set of "Poetic Justice" and she wants her hat back. (look it up - that's a great call.)
2. Pia Toscano - I'm amazed that she's where she is. I didn't think she would even make the top 13 and on the strength of "I'll Stand By You" she's a favorite to win it all! Last night during the show I asked my wife if she thought Pia was more attractive in person or less attractive and she quickly replied "Less." Could she be a contestant that women won't vote for? If so, that could sabotage her chances pretty quickly. I hope she wins just because she reminds me of my original pick - Julie Zorilla. She has an awesome voice and picks some great songs. She seems to get how the contest works better than anyone else.
1. Casey Abrams - What can you say about this guy? He looks exactly like Fozzie Bear, has sung songs from the 60's, 70's-80's, and 90's, he's as versatile as any contestant I've ever seen (but I've only watched last year and this year, so ...), he goes for songs no one else would even consider, and his parents are pretty hilarious. I think last night we really saw his confidence. Even though he didn't sing his best - J Lo was spot on in her critique, he got a little screamy at times - he brought confidence and I think that quality makes everyone listen to whatever he does. I don't know if he'll be a great record seller but he's definitely fun to listen to and if there's any justice, he'll win this contest.
So what do you think? Am I on track with these rankings? Are you voting for Scotty? (stop it!) Who's your favorite?
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Seriously Survivors?
So I think we can all agree that this season of Survivor has been as entertaining as any in recent memory. However, the spelling has been a-t-r-o-c-i-o-u-s. Last week when Russell was voted out we had "Russel," and my all time favorite "Ressell." Really, survivors? One of you thought Russell was spelled with an E?
That brings us to tonight. **Spoiler Alert** I'm about to reveal who was voted out tonight so if you tivo'd it or have somehow found my blog more easily than you can watch network TV, come back later. Now for the rest of us --
Tonight the first of "Ressell's" little ladies was voted out and her name is KRISTA. And in just the votes that were shown we saw "Crysta", "Krasta" (seriously? I can't wait until this person writes down Rob's name. I hope they never get voted out!), and "Christa" - which is actually kind of legitimate, but these people have all been living together for two weeks AND they knew they were going to vote her out! Since everyone seemed to hate her, I'm surprised they didn't all walk up to her throughout the day and ask, "Soo, exactly how do you spell your name??" I think that would have freaked her out ... and been awesome.
So here's to you Survivors - let's see what you can come up with next week!
That brings us to tonight. **Spoiler Alert** I'm about to reveal who was voted out tonight so if you tivo'd it or have somehow found my blog more easily than you can watch network TV, come back later. Now for the rest of us --
Tonight the first of "Ressell's" little ladies was voted out and her name is KRISTA. And in just the votes that were shown we saw "Crysta", "Krasta" (seriously? I can't wait until this person writes down Rob's name. I hope they never get voted out!), and "Christa" - which is actually kind of legitimate, but these people have all been living together for two weeks AND they knew they were going to vote her out! Since everyone seemed to hate her, I'm surprised they didn't all walk up to her throughout the day and ask, "Soo, exactly how do you spell your name??" I think that would have freaked her out ... and been awesome.
So here's to you Survivors - let's see what you can come up with next week!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
It's Kind Of a Public Service
I don't know if anyone else listens to podcasts, but you should check out NPR's "This American Life." Each week they take 2-3 real people and develop a theme based on their stories. This week's episode was heartbreaking! Actors read true stories about the excitement and fear that soldiers and their families feel as they come home from Iraq. The soldiers don't know how life has changed in their time away, whether their kids will recognize them, how their wives will treat them, and how they will respond to being back in "civilized life." One wife wrote her husband to say that she was scared of him - she didn't know what he might do to her. Their experiences are very raw and it made me very thankful for the sacrifice that all the soldiers and their families make.
So anyway, it's fascinating and very different each week. What do you think? Does anyone out there already listen to NPR? Has the scandal(s) over the past months changed your mind?
Now on to part 2 ...
Did anyone else watch the Bachelor last night? What a trainwreck. I'll admit that I've only seen a few episodes but I keep up with what's happening on the show through websites like www.televisionwithoutpity.com. I think the part of the show that always floors me is how the women in the final two or three have to convince themselves that the other women aren't actually there and the man/woman that they "love" is at least dating (and possibly sleeping with) two other women at the same time. Then, one day, he/she "proposes" to them and they're meant to ride off into the sunset. I often ask my wife if she would have been cool with me dating other women right up until the time of our engagement. You can probably guess her response.
I watched the "After the Final Rose" thing last night and here are my quick takes: 1. the women in the studio audience HATE Brad. They were ready to hate him from the minute he showed up! 2. I think he's a nice guy, but wish he wouldn't have let Chantal push him into a corner. It was obvious from his reactions that he had to take someone to the final two but he knew Emily was his choice all along. 3. If I'm Chantal's "new boyfriend" I'm breaking up with her today ... seeing my girlfriend bawl about a guy she met on a reality show would make me seriously question her. 4. Emily seems like a sweet girl but she needs to get real. One minute she's "definitely engaged" the next minute she's "not ready to get married right now." Ummm, isn't that kind of what the engagement is? 5. I skipped all the wonderful, sage advice that the past bachelor couples gave. I couldn't help thinking that the 25 couples who broke up would probably be more helpful in this situation. And where was Jake and Vienna - I thought those kids were going to last?? :) 6. What's up with no one wanting to move to Austin this year? That seemed like a real issue with most of the women. Austin's a pretty cool town to live in - especially if you own a bar!
Last thoughts: I think that both Brad and Emily came on the show "for the right reasons" (whatever that means), but they forgot that they were on a game show that gets manipulated for ratings without regard to their relationship. I'm actually kind of pulling for them, but I'm afraid that the glare of the spotlight won't let up anytime soon and they're bound for failure. At least they'll have good company at all the reunions - maybe Brad just needs a third try!
So what do you think? Am I right or will Brad/Emily beat the odds? Let me know in the comments ...
Monday, March 14, 2011
Hi Everybody!
So I think this internet thing is really going to catch on, and I've decided to get on board. If you know me, you know I have opinions about almost everything and I started this blog to share those opinions with the world. For the last several years I've kept a reading list, and I'll be sharing a few of my favorites from years gone by, but mostly I'll be reviewing books and movies that I've seen recently. Sports also take up a good portion of my mental bandwidth and I'll try to comment on them whenever something seems relevant. My plan is to post something at least once a week, but who knows - I may like this so much that I'll quit my day job as a mild mannered finance manager and BML (Blog My Life)!
Anyway, thanks for stopping by and either subscribe or check back often to see what's new. You can also follow me on Twitter (@rbusboom) to get all the latest updates ... talk to you soon!
Anyway, thanks for stopping by and either subscribe or check back often to see what's new. You can also follow me on Twitter (@rbusboom) to get all the latest updates ... talk to you soon!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)